Beanbioca As Good As It Gets

TaryBiggBall It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

Jenna Walter The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

Fatma Suarez The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Leofwine_draca LADY COCOA is an unheard-of blaxploitation movie from cult director Matt Cimber. This is a film made with no budget and no talent which makes it a real test of the will just to sit through. The story is about a tough femme fatale who agrees to testify against her ex-boyfriend, a leading mobster, in court. She's subsequently put under a witness protection scheme while a bunch of hit men turn up and attempt to whack her.It's not a bad premise as premises go but the execution is really lousy here. The whole first hour is set in a single hotel room while the viewer is subjected to the main character incessantly whining and complaining about everything in sight. Lola Falana is no Pam Grier, that's for sure, and her whiny performance becomes grating about five minutes in. She gets way too much screen time and has such a dreadful character that you'll be hoping the bad guys do succeed in wiping her out.Later on, things finally do leave the confines of the hotel and there's a little low rent action, but it's not especially interesting. The supporting cast are a bit better than the lead, especially the old timers, but Cimber's direction is awful and static, leading to a lifeless viewing experience. His subsequent horror movie THE WITCH WHO CAME FROM THE SEA was a little better, but only just.

gridoon The only redeeming element of "Lady Cocoa" is Lola Falana, playing the title character: she is beautiful, sexy and has a wonderful smile. Other than her, the film is a bargain-basement production with a totally static plot - for more than an hour, the story is confined into one hotel. And don't think this works in favor of any suspense, either; the fact that the two hit men who are on the heroes' trail never utter a single word might have been intended to make them look unique, but their actions only make them look inept and ineffective. Things are made even worse by the worn print, scratchy sound and often inaudible dialogue of the DVD version that Brentwood came up with: a pure disgrace. (*)

Seymour Asses Of all the crappy blaxploitation films I've seen in my day, this is definitely one of them. Talk about poor film making, Lady Cocoa looks like it was shot by a bunch of high school kids. Here's a short list of things that make this movie suck:1. The screen changes colors repeatedly, probably from leaving the film cans sitting out in the sun or something. It reminds me of something shot in the early 1900's. One second everything will be completely purple, the next it will be green, followed by orange, then black and white. Even when the color is correct (which isn't often) the characters look totally illuminated, making the entire room glow. This is the first film I've ever seen that was physically painful to watch.2. The sound is awful. There is a high pitched squeal the entire movie. I tried the disc on two DVD players and two TV's and it was still there. The boom mic gets smacked around a lot to, usually making more noise than it actually records. Thankfully, it saves you from having to hear the awful dialogue, or in the case of Mean Joe, lack there of. 3. The story lags and lags and lags. There is absolutely no action in this movie until the 73rd minute, much like Matt Cimber's previous work, The Black Six. Up until then, I was under the impression this was some type of romantic comedy.4. Every thing in Lady Cocoa is completely illogical. Especially the ending. I supposed I should be grateful this one at least had an ending (director's previous movie just turned off after awhile).SUMMARY: Sucks.

thefountainmenace Another extreme cheapo blaxploit.... Mean Joe Green, who I primarily remember for his enthusiatic endorsement of Coca-cola in the 80's, plays a hit-man flunkie for a pimp/drug dealer, and though because of his semi-celebrity status he is given top billing, he was apparently not trusted to pull off even one speaking line. Not one word the whole movie. Pretty incredible. This is basically crap - hard to watch unless you enjoy very bad slow movies. Lola Falana seems to be quite the firecracker, but this story of her one day of freedom before she testifies on her ex-boyfriend (the aforementioned pimp/dealer ) for the FBI doesn't hold anyone's interest.To me there was some real confusion (mainly due to bad editing, scripting and directing) on whether or not the fat old cop was straight or corrupt.